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Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lessons. Show all posts
Thursday, 28 July 2011
... you can learn from:
Mean Girls (2004)
Regina George (Rachel McAdams): Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
... you can learn from:
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Lindsay (Elizabeth Banks): What 'cha doing?Andy (Paul Rudd): Writing in my gournal.I write my thoughts in it every day.Lindsay: Oh, you mean a journal?Andy: Yeah, whatever. I guess I'm not all smart like you.
Can you believe that WHAS has been out ten whole years today? I've seen this movie a dozen times over and oh how we laugh and laugh. Of memories past and wonderful things. There's a nice little commemorative post over at The Film Experience. There was supposed to be a cast-studded party in Brooklyn in honor of the film's anniversary last night but it got pushed to next week, but I'll be there! I hope Paul Rudd's there in just his Andy costume.
Or perhaps Bradley Cooper and Michael Ian Black can reenact
their most famous and tender lovemaking for us?
their most famous and tender lovemaking for us?
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Or maybe Chris Meloni will hump a fridge!
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I will die if that happens in front of me.
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Thursday, 21 July 2011
... you can learn from:
The Virgin Suicides (1999)
Trip Fontaine: You'll love it.Peach schnapps.Babes love it.Lux Lisbon: That stuff tastes really good.
A happy 33rd birthday to Josh Hartnett today.
He's a stone fox.
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I think the most important lesson we take away from this is to not suck on the fingers of the man that just killed your boyfriend and is about to cook you up in a hot tub. Useful knowledge that you can apply to many circumstances of life!
Halloween II (1981)
I wasn't planning on doing a Way Not To Die today, I hadn't thought one up and the effort just seemed beyond me. Like, way beyond me. But then I watched the news this morning and they were talking about this ridiculous heatwave hitting us for the next couple of days and I immediately thought of this scene, because this is what it is going to feel like, and that is what I am going to look like.
I think this scene was scratching at the surface of my brain anyway because Stacie mentioned it in her write-up of Cold Prey yesterday for her latest Final Girl Film Club. Now Cold Prey, that's a movie we should be talking about! It's set in the middle of the mountains and everything's covered with snow!
Meanwhile I feel like if I laid down in snow right now it would melt around me the way that the cabin deck melted when the alien's acid-blood dripped onto it in Alien. I fucking hate Summer.
I probably should say more about this actual scene, right? I refer you to that first paragraph here - the effort is like way beyond me today. I'd love to hear your thoughts though! What do you think of Halloween II? I've had to give my boyfriend an eye-roll several times over when he says this one's as good as John Carpenter's first one, but I do think it's a solid sequel. And it's really laid the template for a lot of sequel's in it's wake - they're always starting right when the first one ended with characters in the hospital now. Left and right, willy nilly!
Oh and since we went ahead and showed some boobs it's only fair we acknowledge there is some male nudity a little earlier in this scene when her boyfriend played by long-time character actor Leo Rossi gets out of the tub to turn down the water temperature and is summarily dispatched with quickly in the background.
Oh and since we went ahead and showed some boobs it's only fair we acknowledge there is some male nudity a little earlier in this scene when her boyfriend played by long-time character actor Leo Rossi gets out of the tub to turn down the water temperature and is summarily dispatched with quickly in the background.
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Previous Ways Not To Die: Beyond the Veil -- Sunken Prayers -- Super Crack -- Brains Blown -- Fur For The Boogens -- White Hot Bunny Rabbit Rage -- Dragged To Hell -- The TV Van That Dripped Blood -- Don't Mess With Mama -- Heads Ahoy -- Martyred For Sheep -- Heads Nor Tails -- He Loves Me Knot -- The Great Bouncing Brad -- Miss Kitty's 8 Mishaps -- Boat Smoosh -- Meeting the French-Tipped Menace -- A Magic Trick -- Slick Suck -- We Who Walk Here Walk Alone -- Raptor Bait -- Kneegasm'd -- Dare to Dream in Fincher -- Reach Out and Throttle Someone -- De-Faced -- Voluntary Drowning -- Cross Borne -- Pulled Up Hell's Sphincter -- An Arrow Up The Ass - The Numerous Violent Unbecomings of Olive Oyl -- Ack! Ack! Zap! -- Baby's First Acid Splash -- Chop, Drop and Sashimi Roll -- Forever Rafter -- Can't You Hear Me Now? -- Daisies Ways #5 - Harpoony Side Up -- Acid Dip -- On a Wing and a Prey -- For Standing in the Way of Sappho -- Busting Rule Number Three (For The Purpose of Number Two) -- Daisies #4 - Window Dressed To Killed -- Hands Off the Haas Orb -- Bullet Ballet -- A Single Vacancy at the Roach Motel -- A School Bus Slipped Thru The Ice -- Trache-AAHHHH!!!-tomy'd - For Mel Gibson's Sins -- A Wide Stanced Slashing --- Daisies Ways #3 - Scratch n' Snuffed -- The Victim of a Viscous Hit & Run -- Curled -- Kabobbed -- Daisies Ways #2 - Aggravated Cementia -- Boo! Nun! -- 2009's Ways Not To Die -- Bug Scratch Fever -- Daisies Ways #1 - Deep Fat Fried in My Own Unique Blend of 500 Herbs & Spices -- By the Yard End of the Stick -- Screwed From A Very Great Distance -- A Righteous Bear-Jew Beatdown -- Fisted By Hugo Sitglitz -- Xeno Morphed -- Fuck-Stuck -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 4 -- Lava Bombed -- The Cradle Will Rock... Your Face Off!!! -- The Food of the Nilbog Goblins -- The Slugs Is Gonna Gitcha -- Phone Shark -- Hide The Carrot -- Sarlacc Snacked -- Avada Kedavra!!! -- Hooked, Lined and Sinkered -- "The Libyans!" -- Axe Me No Questions -- Pin the Chainsaw on the Prostitute -- The Wrath of the Crystal Unicorn -- The Ultimate Extreme Make-Over -- Drown In A Sink Before The Opening Credits Even Roll -- The Dog Who Knew Too Much -- Don't Die Over Spilled Milk -- Inviting the Wrath of Aguirre -- An Inconceivable Outwitting -- The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique -- Nipple Injected Blue Junk -- Your Pick Of The Deadly Six -- Thing Hungry -- Don't Fuck With The Serial Killer's Daughter -- DO Forget To Add The Fabric Softener -- Any Of The Ways Depicted In This Masterpiece Of Lost Cinema -- Rode Down In The Friscalating Dusklight -- Good Morning, Sunshine! -- Mornin' Cuppa Drano -- The Cylon-Engineered Apocalypse -- Tender-Eye-zed -- Martian Atmospheric Asphyxiation -- Maimed By A Mystical Person-Cat -- The Sheets Are Not To Be Trusted -- Handicapable Face-Hacked -- I Did It For You, Faramir -- Summertime In The Park... Of A Pedophile's Mind -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 3 -- Strung Up With Festive Holiday Bulbs By Santa Claus Himself -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 2 -- A Vengeful Elevator God: Part 1 -- Decapitated Plucked Broiled & Sliced -- Head On A Stick! -- A Trip To The Ol' Wood-Chipper -- Pointed By The T-1000 -- Sucking Face With Freddy Krueger -- A Pen-Full Of Home-Brewed Speed to The Eye -- Motivational Speech, Interrupted -- A Freak Ephemera Storm -- When Ya Gotta Go... Ya Gotta Go -- Hoisted By Your Own Hand Grenade -- Having The Years Suction-Cupped Away -- Criss-Cross -- Turned Into A Person-Cocoon By The Touch Of A Little Girl's Mirror Doppleganger -- Satisfying Society's "Pop Princess" Blood-Lust -- Done In By The Doggie Door -- Tuned Out -- Taking the 107th Step -- Rescuing Gretchen -- Incinerated By Lousy Dialogue -- Starred & Striped Forever -- Vivisection Via Vaginally-Minded Barbed-Wire -- Chompers (Down There) -- Run Down By M. Night Shyamalan -- Everything Up To And Including The Kitchen Toaster -- Sacrificed To Kali -- Via The Gargantuan Venom Of The Black Mamba Snake -- Turned Into An Evil Robot -- The Out-Of-Nowhere Careening Vehicle Splat -- "Oh My God... It's Dip!!!" -- Critter Balled -- Stuff'd -- A Hot-Air Balloon Ride... Straight To Hell!!! -- Puppy Betrayal -- High-Heeled By A Girlfriend Impersonator -- Flip-Top Beheaded -- Because I'm Too Goddamned Beautiful To Live -- By Choosing... Poorly... -- Fried Alive Due To Baby Ingenuity -- A Good Old-Fashioned Tentacle Smothering -- Eepa! Eepa! -- Gremlins Ate My Stairlift -- An Icicle Thru The Eye -- Face Carved Off By Ghost Doctor After Lesbian Tryst With Zombie Women -- Electrocuted By Fallen Power-Lines -- A Mouthful Of Flare -- Taken By The TV Lady -- Bitten By A Zombie -- Eaten By Your Mattress -- Stuffed To Splitting -- Face Stuck In Liquid Nitrogen -- Crushed By Crumbling Church Debris -- Bitten By The Jaws Of Life -- A Machete To The Crotch -- Showering With A Chain-Saw -- In A Room Filled With Razor Wire -- Pod People'd With Your Dog -- Force-Fed Art -- Skinned By A Witch -- Beaten With An Oar -- Curbed -- Cape Malfunction -- In The Corner -- Cooked In A Tanning Bed -- Diced -- Punched Through The Head -- Bugs Sucking On Your Head
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Wednesday, 22 June 2011
... you can learn from:
Sunset Boulevard (1950)
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Joe Gillis (William Holden): It's dawn now and they must have photographed me a thousand times. Then they got a couple of pruning hooks from the garden and fished me out... ever so gently. Funny, how gentle people get with you once you're dead.
Today would've been Billy Wilder's 105th birthday if he hadn't had to go and die on us in 2002. Billy, you didn't have to do that, you know. We would've been gentle anyway.
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Wednesday, 15 June 2011
... you can learn from:
Showgirls (1995)
James Smith: Now wait a minute. Listen, just listen. Man you've got more talent when you dance than anybody I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of dancers. I studied at New York... Alvin Ailey. You burn when you dance.Nomi Malone: But you said I couldn't.James: Well you've got to hold some of it in, and dancing ain't fucking.Nomi: What's that! More Wisdom! I know that!James: No you don't. You dance like when you fuck that guy last night.Nomi: What guy?James: That guy with the chick. You took 'em in the back.Nomi: I didn't fuck him.James: Yes you did, you fucked him and her.Nomi: Are you following me around? I didn't fuck anybody I was just...James: I saw you! Man everybody got AIDS and shit. You know, what is it that you think you do? You fuck 'em without fucking them, that's what you do! Well it ain't right! You've got too much talent for it to be right!Nomi: Get out of here!James: Bitch, I'm tellin' you the truth!
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Monday, 13 June 2011
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
... you can learn from:
Pleasantville (1998)
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George (William H. Macy): What happened?One minute, everything's fine... What went wrong?David (Tobey Maguire): Nothing went wrong. People change.George: People change?David: Yeah, people change.George: Can they change back?David: I don't know. I think it's harder.
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Monday, 6 June 2011
... you can learn from:
Detective Vargas (Michael Pena): What's an 1144?
Detective Hank Havenhurst (Willem Dafoe): An 1144 is like somebody's dead.
Gonna be in a room with Herzog tonight, whoop whoop!
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Thursday, 2 June 2011
... you can learn from:
The Elephant Man (1980)
Merrick's Mother: Never. Oh, never. Nothing will die.The stream flows, the wind blows, the cloud fleets,the heart beats. Nothing will die.
Take that, Terrence Malick.
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Wednesday, 1 June 2011
... you can learn from:
Reality Bites (1994)
.Lelaina (Winona Ryder): I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.Troy (Ethan Hawke): Well, cuz Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.
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