Anne Hathaway Catwoman

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1. Battle Los Angeles - I kept thinking maybe this movie was a come-on, and the punchline was right around the corner. That it couldn't really be pushing these cliches honest to goodness. There is an earnestness here that would make the shots of little children waving American flags while running through fields of sun-dappled wheat in slow-motion in Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor positively cringe. But earnestness really is too kind a word - it implies good intentions. Battle Los Angeles is dumb and cynical right down to its obnoxious shaky-cam aesthetic. It was apparently crafted while snorting Oxycontin off a burning copy of Guns and Ammo.

2. Rango - There's some nice animation here and some very nice character design but oh my god this movie is so boring. I actually gave up ten minutes before it was over because I just couldn't find it in me to care enough to take ten more minutes of my life to see it through, even after already wasting an hour and a half. The next morning I asked my boyfriend what happened at the end, he saw it through, and he shrugged and said, "The water came back, I guess?" He couldn't even remember.